Undeveloped Love 2: Pretention

Undeveloped Love 2: Pretention

By EiroL EneleJ

November 2 2009

How many times will I do this…?

To hide this hurtful look in my eyes…

How could I still manage to put a sweet smile into this tired lips…

When the pain I feel inside keeps eating my lonely heart…

I keep thinking that this dreadful feeling is from the past…

That I am still dwelling to my past…

But how can I convince myself when I know that the fact that hurts me is…

When I see you with a smile in your lips…

With a twinkle in your eyes…

With an intermittent light on your face…

And with happy and contented aura that surrounds you…

Only it was not intended for me…

I once had the chance to experience all of it…

It feels surreal…

I felt it in my heart….

But something happened along the way….

It’s just that along with the magical feeling, fear overrule my heart…

I told myself… I can never have the whole him…

I will never be enough for him …

So it would be better if at this early I’ll make a move to avoid him…

It would be better to shield my fragile heart from the coming heartache….

To make this coming misery quick and fast…

It’s just that it didn’t occur to me that what if….

What if this thing that I’ve been avoiding was the only things that could complete the whole me….

I don’t have the right to stop the things that are meant to happen for they will find the way…

I didn’t lessen the pain that I would feel for there could have been a chance to have a complete happiness but instead I chose the coward’s way…

Now there are so many what if’s in my mind that would never have the answer….

Now matte what I do, I cannot undo what I did…

That’s the sad thing when you had the single chance to make u happy but you just let it go just like that…